Monday, 21 November 2011

exam time

Hey guys, studying for an exam so I will just leave you with a few ponderisms... I did get stuck on a few.


Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Broken car and ponder-isms

So this week I found myself on the side of a freeway in my broken down car. As inconvenient as it is, it has given me some time to write some of this blog. It has given me the chance to view the life of the freeway I was on. I saw a lot of people driving past in their suits after a hard day others maybe just driving home after visiting family, truckies that have probably driven all day and will until the wee hours of the night. It is such a variety of people, all with their own tale to tell. This train of thought led me to remember a book that I read a few years ago, it was called Bypass, can’t remember the author’s name but he used to be a Jesuit priest so he had plenty of stories to tell. It was an interesting book, it told of how he rode a bike from Sydney to Melbourne not only a long but a life changing and liberating journey, all this intermingled with stories of heroics, tragedy, folklore, history and titbits of peoples’ lives. I implore you to seek it out and read it.
As I sat there I also realised how much I needed the car but took it for granted, it’s fair to say I didn’t exactly look after it. But then I was stuck there on the side of a freeway and out how much I really need it. I use it to get to and from work, university, placement and anywhere I need to go. This may be one reason why I haven’t looked after it, because I couldn’t do without it for a day. As I coughed out the fumes of another unhealthy car going past I wished my little goer would start and I could be out of here, but no such luck for me. And then there went a car towing some race cars, they looked like they could go. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish a have a different car, it’s perfectly fine, it gets me from A to B, and well at least it got me from A to B.
Because my car had broken down this meant I had to catch public transport. Luckily I misread the timetables and they met up perfectly (to be honest I was really worried.) But sitting there on the train I was reminded about what I was thinking about when I was stuck on the freeway, I was thinking about all those peoples’ stories. Most were in business attire some looked like they were off to Melbourne for the day, and one I overheard was going to the hospital.
Have you ever attempted to start a conversation with anyone on public transport? I did, and it didn’t go too well. Every time I spoke to someone they would look at me as if I had a disease and got back to staring into the oh so interesting middle distance. This led me to ask, if humans are such social creatures, why then do we surround ourselves with people but then endeavour to not speak with them? I would have thought that would be against our very nature.
This seems pretty long so I might cut it off there.
Witty comment of the week
All men like to think they are marrying nymphomaniacs.
The problem is that after a few years the nympho leaves but the maniac doesn't.